If You Post It on Your Blog, They Will Come

So, just the other day I had posted that I really wanted the Little People Nativity for The Boy and what should my mom call and say she wants to get him for his birthday? Perfect! He is all taken care of for his birthday and Christmas - which, by the way, I can't believe we are less than a week from his first birthday. I really secretly want to boycott it. Well, I guess that it's not a secret now that I've posted it on the blog. I just don't like that he is getting older! Well, I do. I am so a walking dichotomy right now. I love all the wonderful and exciting things that he doing as he gets older. I love his little personality and how he is trying to be more and more independent each day. However, at the same time I hate it. I hate how quickly time is going. I hate thinking that one day soon he won't want me to rock him to sleep anymore. I hate the thought that one day very soon he won't want to be my baby because he'll be more worried about what his friends think. I worry about him going on a mission to a strange land and me not sleeping for two years for worry. I'm pathetic! I always think of that terrible book (which I also really love) Love You Forever by Robert Munsch. If you haven't read it, don't! The first time I read it, I was 12 years old and I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She asked me to read it to her and I thought it looked like a cute book. By the end of the book I was sobbing and the little cutie looked at me and said, "My daddy does that too." I remember emailing my friend Megan a few days after he was born and telling her that I had cried a few times while I rocked him in the wee hours of the morning because time was going too fast and he was growing up. I'm also struggling because I'm going to start weaning him within the next month or so and that makes me sad. I feel like it is time for us in so aspects, but it in others I feel like when we stop he really won't be my baby anymore. Like he won't need me. I know, I know, I'm pathetic. I didn't start out posting tonight with intentions of bawling in the dark as I type this lamentation of a mother:) But that is how it has turned out.

I love being a mother. It is wonderful. All the fabulous things about it far outweigh anything that goes wrong or the few bad days here or there. I feel so blessed that I can stay home and play with my little monkey everyday. He's the joy and light of my life. I miss his giant smile when he is napping, but pray he'll sleep just 5 more minutes so I can get things done. I told you, it's a dichotomy. Hopefully I am getting this out of my system so that I can have some composure on his big day.

My friend and I always talk about being sure to enjoy the time you have with them, because it really does go so fast. To all those soon to be mothers out there, this is the best advice I can give (which was given to me by my mother and my friend from teaching), rock your babies, because they're only babies for so long. Then you turn around and they are 14 and mute:) - well, at least when you are in the room. So I'll keep rocking my baby until he won't let me, because I love it and the missed sleep is worth it! (Take that Dr. Spock and Mr. Ezzo! - notice they are men)